Episode 2: Emotional Birth Preparation and the Birth Debrief with Birth Educator Tracey Anderson Askew
- Mar 24
- 3 min read
Tracey Anderson Askew | Transform Parenting | Birth Educator, Coach and Parenting Specialist
Tracey Anderson Askew (transformparenting.com.au) is a birth educator, coach and parenting specialist with nearly thirty years of experience guiding women through pregnancy, birth and early parenthood. Tracey runs Transform Parenting, a program that takes you all the way from pregnancy through to the first years of raising your child.
I first met Tracey about four weeks postpartum, introduced through my doula Kylie. Kylie suggested I share my birth story on Tracey's podcast, and Tracey became one of those women I couldn't let go of.
In this conversation we cover what it really means to prepare emotionally for birth, self-advocacy in a hospital setting, how any type of birth can be empowering, and something that doesn't get nearly enough attention: the birth debrief. Why processing your birth story matters, who it's for, and what can happen when that story goes unprocessed.
SHOW NOTES
What drew Tracey to birth work: a late-pregnancy caregiver change that set the trajectory of her life [02:00]
Her aunt who had fifteen children and the connection she saw between her pregnancy challenges, her births, and the child she was being prepared to parent [05:00]
Why birth is an invitation to let go of the illusion of control and how that directly prepares you for new parenthood [12:00]
What baby brain actually is: an upgrade of the brain, not a deficit. How emotional intelligence and intuition increase while rational thinking turns down [19:00]
The fears that surface in pregnancy, why they are worth addressing rather than suppressing, and how unaddressed fear changes the hormones and can make labour harder [22:00]
The questions Tracey's midwife asked her that changed everything: not about weight or measurements, but about relationships, fears, history, and how she felt about having a baby [23:00]
Self-advocacy in birth: informed consent as a legal right, the difference between a medical necessity and a choice [35:00]
The questions every woman and her partner should know how to ask: What are the risks? What are the benefits? Are there alternatives? What would happen if we waited? [49:00]
Why going with the flow only works when it is built on a foundation of clarity and communication [48:00]
The role of a partner in the birth room and why a well-prepared partner is one of the most significant factors in birth outcomes [49:00]
What creates birth trauma: not the type of birth, but too much, too soon, for too long, without support [55:00]
The birth debrief: what it is, who it is for, and what happens when the birth story goes unprocessed [58:00]
How the mind replays birth looking for meaning, and why that story will change significantly over time [59:00]
The Karen and Ariel story: how one woman's most difficult birth became the catalyst for a part of herself she needed most [01:10:00]
It is not the type of birth that ultimately matters. It is what gets activated within the mother [01:15:00]
CONNECT WITH TRACEY
Tracey's podcast: Transform Your Birth — listen for Parris's birth story episode
Instagram: @transform_parenting
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Transform Parenting: birth preparation through to the first seven years
Matrescence: the neurological and identity transformation of becoming a mother
Informed consent: a legal right in Australian maternity care
The birth map: a communication tool for your care team, not a fixed plan
Transform Your Birth podcast: includes Parris's breech birth story
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